What if I Must Purchase???

The unthinkable has occurred. My iPhone has perished. Well, the actual cell phone feature of it is no longer functioning. I can still text and use all my apps, but the primary feature of the phone has passed on to the next life.

Here's my problem. As you all know, I made a promise that I would buy NOTHING for myself in 2013 that was not a complete necessity. A cell phone IS a necessity these days, but a smartphone is not. Whatever decision I make for a new phone, it is going to be my phone for the next two years, not just 2013, so I would hate to go backwards and either get the same model phone I have now, or worse yet, a (gasp) flip phone. I use my iPhone all. the. time. I mean, it's my mapping device, weather-checker, iPod when I go running, lesson-planner for teaching the wee ones, games for said wee ones when I need to shush them in a pinch, my go-to for recipes when cooking dinner. This list goes on. And on. When I promised not to purchase anything for myself, I did not intend to go back to the dark ages. So I think I've established I need to at least get the same model phone I have now.

So back to the problem. For over two years now, I have bitched and bitched and bitched about not being able to have the majority of my music on my iPhone (which also serves as my iPod, remember?) because it is so darn small. If I am to get a new one, I REALLY REALLY REALLY want to get a mac daddy size so I can finally put all my music in one place. I'm getting all swoony just thinking about it. And we no longer use cameras or video cameras - we use our iPhones. So why wouldn't I want to upgrade to the latest technology so as to improve these features?

I don't want to buy a new phone because the latest model just came out and I must have it. This is not a purchase for the excitement of purchasing something. But it is, in fact, a not-that-necessary purchase (assuming I upgrade). So am I going against my promise? Is this the beginning of the end? Do I unravel from here and slowly go back to my former self?

I think the real reason this is so difficult for me is because I do nothing half-way. When I make a decision, I go big or go home. People always say it's so easy for me to lose weight and/or keep it off, and that's true, because when I decide to exercise regularly, I do it every day. When I decide to eat healthy, not a morsel of negative food will pass my lips. I don't cheat. Not at anything. So it IS easy for me, but not because my body has a "fast metabolism" or "the scale likes me." It's because I dedicate myself to the task at hand - all the way. That's what this project is for me. Something to dedicate myself to all the way. I want real growth, not just a topic for blogging. But I didn't realize it may impact my life in a truly negative way. Or, maybe a better way to put it, I didn't realize I may have to make decisions that would drastically change the way I live my daily life (taking away my technology). When I came up with this idea, my husband's initial response was that maybe I should just reduce spending, not cut ALL spending. His m.o. has always been "everything in moderation." And really, that is the healthiest way to be. I know this. But I don't know how to BE this. I am an "all or nothing" kind of gal. I always have been.

So maybe the real solution to the problem is to upgrade after all. Maybe that's my growth for this moment. Or am I just trying to talk myself in to the iPhone 5?? :-)